it's been quite a while...

I haven't written in a while

i've had a lot of state exams to study for and teachers are really laying out the homework

but that's nothing.

I'm sick of having nobody to listen to me.  All I do is listen to what everybody says to me but then when I have something to say, they ignore me, say they're busy, or just go on and on about themselves again.

My best friend does this.  She flirts with every guy that she sees and then just ditches me right there.  I've gotten used to it but it still bugs me

Especially since she's now flirting with my recent ex boyfriend....and then just says she's sorry.

oh she's sorry..yay? That does nothing for me...because she still flirts with him...

and i'm not completely over him.  And I told her that and she said very quickly and with no emotion "he's wayy over you. it was hard for him but he did it"

I just sat there stunned at lunch when she said that.  I didn't talk the rest of the period I just listened to what she had to say about these guys that are apparently obsessed with her.

She's reallllllllly pretty. So I understand that guys want her.  But after a while it's like..what's so wrong with me?

I understand that I'm not looking for anything too serious at this age and should just be enjoying life..but it's so hard

even my family doesn't listen to me.  I said one sentence to my mom about this new video i liked...and she was like "don't you see i'm busy?" when she was just looking through the fridge....

It's gotten me so upset that i threw up today from the stress of it all.

I can't deal with this anymore.

My family and friends don't even seem to care.  All anyone cares about is themselves.  Why?

I try to do whatever I can to make my friends happy but they just keep taking it and taking it and not even understanding how much I give for them. 

I'm not happy with my life at all.

I just got a 65 on that research paper that I wrote for a month and had such a difficult time with.  But I didn't believe that it was worth a 65... I mean I kept saying I was going to bomb it but I didn't mean it.

THE WORST PART is that my teacher underlined a lot of my sentences and asked if I plagerized.  I would NEVER EVER do that.  But I can write some well developed sentences with some pretty advanced vocabulary, that's why I'm in the advanced class!!! I approached her politely after school that day about it and she just told me that I can't plagerize and that it's illegal even after I explained that I didn't!! She wouldn't believe me. 

I got home and cried about that for hours last night.

And then my ex doesn't talk to me anymore...yet he talks to my best friend everynight and then she comes in and tells me about it the next day.

This is really affecting me...I'm even crying right now as I'm writing this.

I'm trying not to..but it's not working.

Then my brother has been stealing money from me lately, and now my mom has money missing and since nobody would own up to it, she grounded both of us.

I told her that she could go ahead and search my room, backpack, anything she wanted!! I didn't take it and I promise that.

I can't deal with all of this.

Nothing goes right.

Really. I'm not just one of those teens that exaggerates their situations just to get pity.  I despise being pitied and it embarasses me...

I just need help........